Unlike Roya, I’m not ready to say “Suck it, 2011!” but I’m definitely ready for the year to be a simple memory in the rolodex that is my life. While there were some ups and downs, for the most part, my 2011 was in the gray area.
I will probably remember 2011 as the year of the thyroid (or the killing of the thyroid?). In March, I had radioactive iodine treatment to burn my thyroid out. Why? Because I’m a weirdo and my thyroid felt the need to flip between Grave’s Disease and Hashimoto’s (yes, diagnosed with both autoimmune disorders—like I said, weirdo!) every couple of weeks. Basically, my life was like this: “Oh my god. Oh my god. I’m never going to be able to do that. But I have to. Wait I’ll stay up all hours to get this project done. Oh my god. Why is my heart beating so fast? I’m going to die. I. am. going. to. die.” to “I cannot get out of bed. My life sucks. I’m so depressed. No one loves me. I’m so tired. I’ll sleep for 27 hours.” Yeah—weirdo (imagine being my friends dealing with this mess… my apologies to them!).
While I would love to say that being a superhero for three days (the time I was sequestered in my home unable to see or touch anyone) was fun and that I glowed green and purple with orange coming out of my ears, it wasn’t. The ablation (the words of the doctors) led to 9 months of blood tests, waiting, more blood tests, waiting, one dose of synthroid, waiting, more blood tests, waiting, changing the dose of the synthroid, and, you guessed it, waiting. I’m told that they will figure out the perfect dose of the medication for me—but, for now, I’m still waiting.
Other than the thyroid, the year was, like I said, blah.
I had some great times. Thanks to conferences, work meetings, and random trips, I got to play with Roya more times in the past year than we had in a few years combined. I got to eat cranch and boom boom wings at Wing City in Fredonia, NY (don’t knock it until you try it!). I played in Disneyworld with Roya and attempted to run a ½ marathon of which I ran 5 miles and then stopped (I hadn’t trained and I wanted to have plenty of energy to walk around the magical kingdom the next day). I went snorkeling and saw sea turtles and stingrays. I taught a new course with 200 students enrolled and learned the problem of forgetting to turn off the microphone as I sang “Look at me now. Uh. Look at me now. Uh. I’m gettin’ paperrrrr” (that is definitely one for the memory books). I laughed, smiled, and danced (mainly in front of my classes) a lot in 2011.
There were also some low moments. I cried a lot. I questioned what I was doing with my life a lot. I needed hugs a lot. I was mean to myself more times than I care to try to remember (though it is easy to remember because it was almost every other day—and, some weeks, every day).
So, I guess it is time to make 2011 a memory and welcome in 2012. I’m thrilled to be ringing in the New Year with Roya (one of my favorite New Year’s memories was with her, Carrie, and me making braised cabbage—yummy!) and hope kicking off the year in a happy way will lead to great things.
In 2012, I’m going to find my inner athlete (insert laughter). I’m going to read 50 books (that one I can do). I’m going to blog at least two times a week (try to at least…). I’m going to have cranch and boom boom flavored wings at Wing City again. I’m going to go to SpaWorld in Centreville, VA. I’m going to travel. I’m going to find my backbone again. I’m going to smile and laugh and dance even more. But, mostly, I’m going to be nice to myself. I have to.